Big Ghost Reviews Jay-Z - 'Magna Carta Holy Grail'

Ayo whattup you now back in the presence of the great n powerful Thor Molecules aka Broccoli Bundles aka Shampoo Bracelets aka the infamous Cocaine Biceps aka the magnificent Phantom Raviolis...probably most famously known as the one n only mighty Hands Of Zeus or ya man Big Ghost. Much love to all these pieces that make up the whole jigsaw puzzles namsayin. Ion fuck wit no corny muthafuckas... so if you dont consider yaself amongst them lame ass dickriders who cant form a constructive thought on they own n be gettin emotionally bent outta shape when they favorite artist drops a brick n start blamin anybody but the ni**a who jus put out that trash in the first place n instead gotta start directin they anger at the world while turnin theyselves into a human shield around that ni**as ballsack then Ion mean you, aight. But if you DO sit around defendin artists who dont een kno you exist n ya only satisfaction be comin from shit like when the muthafucka screams out "I LOVE YALL" at his shows or hashtags #TeamWhateverWhatever n you take that shit as a personal thank you for holdin the ni**a down then yeah I mean YOU muthafucka. YOU might feel a connection wit that artist...n maybe after supportin his grind for years you start to feel like the shit is mutual...but that dude could very well walk right past you or give you the coldest "ni**a please" glare if you ask for his autograph or a quick picture n keep on steppin like you a complete fuckin nobody...especially if it aint no cameras round to capture that shade nahmean. But if you think cuz you got a picture of his face on ya lockscreen that some fairy godmother gon whisper that shit into his ear at night n make it so yall gon magically meet at a Krispy Kremess n become BFFs off the strength that you a creepy ass stalker who memorized all the ni**a lyrics n got the cover of his first album tatted across ya back then you need to humbly have a seat or a hundred n reevaluate ya life yo. You think any rap ni**a (or singer, or performer of any kind) gives a fuck bout you specifically tho? You a dime a dozen ass muthafucka to him b... Like you might could relate to that shit... You might say DAMN I SURE LOVE RICE...I LOVE ALLLLLLLL THIS RICE...but do you ever stop n isolate one grain of rice outta the whole bowl n nod ya head n think to yaself...MY NI**A.. THANK YOU SPECIFICALLY FOR ALL THE SHIT YOU DONE FOR ME YOU GLORIOUS GRAIN OF RICE YOU...??? Nawwww. Matter fact all that rice you love so much whether its some soft fluffy rice from a thai restaurant or jus some regular ol Uncle Bens converted shit is only gon mean so much to you b. You might LOVE it... but if some of that rice fall on the floor you dont think to yaself I REALLY REALLY WISH THAT THEY AINT HADDA GO OUT LIKE THAT...cuz they a dime a dozen to you bruh. So next time you runnin round jumpin in front of bullets for ya idol n gettin thrown in a verbal yoke over some bullshit somebody said bout him that got you tight n had you flappin ya jibbs to the wrong muthafucka n maybe even catchin a bad one on his behalf...pump ya brakes son.

All that bein said Imma come correct n tell yall right now that Hov probably my favorite rapper ever b. Yall thinkin FUCK THIS SHIT THIS NI**A BOUT TO BE BIASED THAN A MUTHAFUCKA... But truth be told...that dude done had his fair share of missteps...like I fucks wit his music heavy but he aint perfect neither. Son done made some trash ass songs (Whattup "Sunshine" n "Reminder")...he dropped two weed plates wit Kells...he introduced the world to the Amil struggle...he tried to make Memphis Bleek a household name for somethin other than bein the worlds most popular weed carrier...n even tho he still sold mad units his albums since he came outta retirement never really captured the greatness of his pre-Kingdom Come joints...minus maybe American Gangster...n if we talkin collabs then the Watch The Throne joint (which was also the first real introduction to the NEW Jay-Z) was definitely official. You might think Jay was always on that luxury shit but he also knew how to balance the shit out wit some introspective thoughts n gave yall those glimpses of the realities of the hustler lifestyle nahmean...from "Can't Knock The Hustle" to "99 Problems." It was always em two sides to the ni**a namsayin. But the corporate Jay aint set foot on a grimy ass street corner in damn near forever nahmean... Last time he was in the hood he had Oprah Winfrey wit him bruh. He dont go to little ass house parties.. he attendin soirees n galas wit muthafuckas who blow what you make in a year on brunch namsayin. Fuckouttahere. He coppin priceless artwork that you would think was worthless n hangin wit that chick from Coldplay... He coppin 1/500,000th of a basketball team n becomin the face of the organization... He shakin hands wit the President n gettin crowned king in Africa n shit like that. But thats the evolution b. Son done already told yall if you want his old shit cop his old albums. But Imma keep it 1,000,000 HUNNA wit yall...lotta that has to do wit the fact that son can't do what he use to do. He ain't been hungy like that since he dumbed down for his audience n doubled his dollars. Anyways yo.. the point is I think Hov a living legend n probably top 3 ever but I aint gon pat son on the back for some lackluster shit. But yo lets get into this shit one time. Shouts to okayplayer. You kno what it is...

The views n what have you in this muthafucka is all my owns…so that aint in no way a reflection of nobody other than myself n whatever else b. No other man or woman or child represented heretofore n such hereby is sharin the opinion of the gentleman who be sayin the shit contained within namsayin. This muthafucka do be containin foul language n shit that might offend small children n old people n shit too. It should be noted by all those who is present today here today before God that yall here on ya own accord n if anybody not cool wit that they should leave now or forever hold they peace…

1. "Holy Grail" (f/ Justin Timberlake) - First off I wanna say big ups to Jay for ignorin the obvious but corny option he had to call this album Magna CARTER Holy Grail. Had this been Nas we already kno he woulda done some shit like MagNAS Carta.. or whatever. But yo...back in '96 after hearin "Pain In Da Ass" on the intro for Reasonable Doubt Ion think anybody coulda guessed that someday son woulda had the little curly blonde cracker from the Mickey Mouse Club n future Britney Spears ex doin the intro on his 12th solo joint but HEY thats the beauty of music bruh. After like13 mins of JT croonin his heart out the beat kicks in n OHMAHHGAWDSON the shit slaps like a muthafucka..Im like GATDAMM YO... I mean I knew after seein the game 5 Samsung hijack durin the finals (we not callin that shit a "commercial" or any kinda "ad" b...ni**as dropped a 3 minute mini-documentary in the middle of one of the biggest basketball games of the year...thats hijackin the airwaves yo) that the "overweight" gallon of punch packin n banana inhalin (pause) Timbaland who made "Dirt Off Your Shoulders" n "Big Pimpin" was back in effect... Like I realize Timbo wanna redeem hisself for what we jus gon start referrin to as "The BP3 Debacle" n shit but the ni**a took it to the next level on this joint... Only problem was after Hov gets his Hov on for a quick 16 its like another 5 mins of JT singin n then again for like 17 mins at the end of the track. Somebody needs to reintroduce theyself to the "less is more" concept again yo. I mean no disrespect to Justin but ni**as waited 4 years for a new solo album from Jigga...nobody tryna hear a 72 bar hook from ANY these feature ni**as right now. Ion care if Marvin Gaye hisself rose from his grave n brought MJ n Whitney wit him...Imma be like YALL SOME LEGENDS N I LOVE YALL BUT YALL GON HAVE TO FALL BACK N LET THIS MAN SPIT RIGHT NOW CUZ HE BEEN AWAY FOR A HOT MINUTE YO... But all that shit is minor. From what I heard The-Dream had a lot of this song done before Timbo or Jay did they thing on this...so my hats gotta come off for that muthafucka too since it was basically his joint. I fucks wit this tho.

2. "Picasso Baby" - Ayo Im bout to run out the crib n jux a ni**a for his 10k gold rope chains n his Ewings b. This shit so gully I feel like they need to bring the crack epidemic back for it yo. Lyrically Jay stuntin on this shit again. That ni**a Jay bring up Basquiat name as much as Game brings up Dre nahmean. We get it son...you a sophisticated high society buppie now but you need to chill wit all that AAAHRRT shit son. Jigga name droppin art galleries n museums n whatever....its like SON...dont nobody kno what the fuck you talmbout except rich ass white folk who eat shit off toothpicks n say shit like WE MUUUUST DO THIS AGAIN DAHHLIN instead of BYE or AIGHT IM OUT. The beat stupid tho...n Hovi sound good on the shit so I fucks wit it anyways. But lets dont jus give Timbo ALL the praise for this track tho. My dude Adrian Younge had already blessed yall wit this joint before Timbaland sped the shit up n threw some french broads on that n dropped the beat out for "fuck it I want a billion/trillion"...

But credit is due for the beat switch...ni**as took it back to Vol 3. Good shit Timbo. Gone and have another big ass swig of that fruit punch my ni**a.

3. "Tom Ford" - So remember when Jay said that "I dumbed down for my audience n doubled my dollars" line? Yeah well he bout to quadruple or octuple his dollars or some shit off this muthafuckin record yo. This is hands down the most dumbed down shit Jay ever spit in his life b. Son sayin "I dont pop molly...I rock Tom Ford" like those two things is related n shit... Shit is like if somebody offer you a glass of water n you like NAH I ALREADY READ A BOOK. Problem is this shit got the potential to be the 2013 "Ni**as In Paris"...in other words the shit makes me wanna cop expensive shit n bag some white broads at the closest Whole Foods b. I feel conflicted yo. Ionno whether to buy chunky jewelry or hit a Starbucks n get some fair trade coffee beans n make soy lattes for my whole neighborhood n shit. Im conflicted as fuck off this joint yo. I fucks wit this shit tho.

4. "FuckWithMeYouKnowIGotIt" (f/ Rick Ross) - Son...this beat make me wanna suplex a rhino. I wanna be lampin in a mosque n sniff a kilo off the backs of a dozen white hoes to this shit b. You need to be drivin a red Lamborghini Countach or white Ferrari Testarossa witta Alpine tape deck in it to really maximize on the flyness of this shit right here namsayin. Word is bond this shit make me wanna start a Russian prostitution ring yo. I wanna start carryin my doe in black garbage bags ey'where I go nahmean. Like I really wanna walk into a donut shop n be like WORD YO LEMME GET ONE STRAWBERRY JELLY DONUT...HOW MUCH I OWE YOU FOR THAT SHIT? n then pore like 20 racks out on the counter n pull a dollar out n say some shit like KEEP THE CHANGE MUTHAFUCKA n slap they paper hat off they head. Fuckouttahere. I wanna pollute the environment to this shit nahmean. I blame this muthafiuckin song for the unreached levels of ignorance I wanna be explorin right now yo. My only goal in life right now is to catch a charge EY'TIME I hear this song son. Straight up n down..I aint playin wit yall muthafuckas.

5. "Oceans" (f/ Frank Ocean) - Son...I fucks wit Frank Ocean (pause tho) but what the fuck accent this muthafucka be singin wit? I kno he from New Orleans or Cali or some shit but when he get on joints sometimes he be havin this afro caribbean creole patois type accent n shit. Shit is bugged... I can actually picture Pharrell singin this shit too...which aint too unlikely n shit since he produced it n whatever. But yo...the fact that Frank Ocean is on a joint called Oceans...which is bout how the same water that ni**as be celebratin on they yachts n poppin chamapgne on is the same oceans that brought black folk to the shores of the land of the un-free n home of the slave...is either the most funny ass coincidence ever or these muthafuckas jus OD corny yo. I aint mad at this shit tho. This might gon be the song from the album that I thought was jus aight the first couple hundred times n then comes back n its some shit where Im like YOOOOOO n make it my ringtone someday...but right now the shit is jus coo to me...

6. "F.U.T.W." - Dont be good my ni**a / Be great...thats that shit that resonates witta ni**a yo. Thats why muthafuckas gravitated to Hov in the first place namsayin. Its those little things bruh. The dope bars n the solid beats n all that shit help but its the little catchphrases n simple ass jewelz he drops that be havin muthafuckas spit his lyrics to theyselves at bus stops or while they pullin the fries out the oil at they job n shit. The joint itself aint exactly the blueprints to buildin ancient egyptian rocket ships or nothin crazy...but the message is dope. Shit aint jus bout overcomin the odds...but goin past those expectations b...aka FUCK. UP. THE. WORLD... nahmean. By the way yo this beat is gorgeous. I mean This beat aint like nothin Timbo ever produced in his life bruh. Damn Tim...dont ever try to get brolic or shed those extra pounds again yo. You aint shit when you confident bout ya appearance son.

7. "Somewhere In America" - This sounds like some shit that aint made it onto the Great Gatsby soundtrack... Ionno...either that or Hov was jus still in that 1920s mode when he picked the beat. Hit-Boy n Mike Dean killed this shit tho... I fucks wit it kinda heavy. Hov was on twitter talmbout the fact that Miley been addicted to twerkin is like retribution n shit. He actually aint say it in those words but we kno what son was gettin at when he said that shit is the old world's worst nightmare. If it wasnt for the headlock that hip-hop put white America in...they daughters wouldnt be doin this shit. Influence is the greatest power you can have in this world yo. If you got influence...you can get muthafuckas to take a life for you without spendin a dime or liftin a finger b. Thats real shit. Word is bond the only problem wit this joint is its too short.

8. "Crown" - The big hype round this track is that it was mostly produced by a 16-yr old chick from Toronto n shit. Apparently she was inspired by the "Blocka" joint n she cooked this track up n sent it to Travis Scott to see if he wanted to pass it along to Pusha-T n guess who scooped it up someplace along the way yo? The rest is history b. Im sayin tho...theres muthafuckas...DOPE muthafuckas who been in the industry for like 2 decades that aint been able to land a beat on a Jigga album...ni**as who paid MAD dues who aint never got that kinda love before yo. Alchemist had a skit on his first album where he mentions he never did a joint for Hov...that ni**a Easy Moe Bee produced more than half of Ready To Die n he aint NEVER landed a beat on one of Jay albums... But you sayin that homegirl gon come flyin out the gate n have the damn stars n moons align n some shit like THIS gon occur yo? Dont get me wrong tho...this shit go hard...n Im definitely fuckin wit it. But aint that a bitch for ni**as who been tryna get this ni**a to cop a beat off em since the days when he was still poppin Cris?

9. "Heaven" -  Thats me in the corner...thats me in the spotlight... Nah, thats Justin Timberlake on the hook again. The concept here is pretty simple bruh... aint none of us been to Heaven before. So basically we all got our own perceptions of what Heaven is n how much we willin to do to experience it namsayin. Once again that ni**a Timbo laced this shit... This might be the most ruggedest joint on the album. Lyrically son not touchin shit like "Lucifer" or "D'Evils" or any the other records where he was speakin on the struggles between good n evil nahmean... Like he literally aint fuckin wit neither one of em joints in no shape or form b... But this shit still goes pretty hard son.

10. "Versus" - Remember way back when how J. Cole jacked the entire "Electric Relaxation" beat from the A Tribe Called Quest classic Midnight Marauders album? Son jus took the whole beat n introduced it to a nation of 90s babies n aint show the original architects of the beat any love what so ever... Well Jay took the hook from "Sucka Ni**a" off the same dam album n threw it at the beginning of this 8 bar verse n called it a wrap. This shit is 52 seconds b. Shit got Swizz Beatz AND Timbaland on the production credits like it took both em ni**as to come up wit this shit yo. I aint mad at this track but I also dont see the point of this shit namsayin.

11. "Part II (On TheRun)" f/ Beyoncé - Yall can throw this shit in wit th rest of Hov/Bey collabs that aint trash. This shit so damn smooth bruh. This joint got like a 80s quiet storm slow jam type groove to it...cept Hov sound energized than a muthafucka on this shit. This shit brought me back son... Ni**as took it back to Coca Cola rugbies n pastel colored pleated shorts namsayin. This shit so smooth n elegant. I might gon throw a ni**a off his sea vessel n sail to Costa Rica to some shit like this. Bey kinda did her thing on this shit too yo.

12. "Beach Is Better" - When I heard this shit I was like yo Im bout to go punch somethin... Shit had me feelin reckless yo. I wanna do ignorant shit to a track like this nahmean. But...what...the...fuck...51 seconds later Im realizin this shit jus another interlude yo. Who the fuck allowed this shit??? Ni**a at least let that muthafuckin beat ride. Dont jus have some dicktease type interlude joints sprinkled all over the album yo...   Ayo Im vexed tho. Shit knocks.. but you can basically only drive for like a block n a half before you gotta rewind it back again. That shit jus interferes wit my ballin too much. Fuck you for doin this shit to ni**as Jay.

13. "BBC (fe/ Nas...AND Pharrell, Beyoncé, Swizz Beatz, Timbaland & Justin Timberlake" - "Black Republican"..."Success"... "Do It For Hip-Hop"... What do all these joints got in common other than the fact that they all some Jay/Nas collabs that had some crazy beats for ni**as to body? ANSWER...Nas basically steals the show on all those tracks. Now as a muthafucka who feels like I gotta explain to ni**as WHY "Takeover" is better than "Ether" damn near 2 to 3 times a week n why Jay is in my opinion the slightly more superior artist...that aint no easy shit to admit for the gawd. But I always keep shit 1,000,000 HUNNA wit ni**as...n I feel like I gotta speak honestly on this shit too. Basically I think Hov went into this shit thinkin AW MAN I REALLY WANNA HEAR NAS SPIT ON THIS PICASSO BABY OR HEAVEN BEAT BUT THERES A GOOD CHANCE HE GON BODY THOSE TRACKS...LEMME JUS THROW SON ON TOP OF THIS CORNY ASS PHARRELL JOINT THAT SOUNDS LIKE IT DROPPED AT THE HEIGHT OF THE NEPTUNES REIGN IN LIKE '01...ESCO CANT ROCK ON EM JOINTS LIKE I CAN HOMIE...n gave hisself the advantage. Basically ANY beat on this album woulda suited Nas more than this shit yo. Bruh this shit got Timbaland AND Swizzy voices on it... Yall already kno how I feel bout em two dudes n how they vocals on records is like sprinklin onions on ice cream. Its like Im aware that this shit is straight basura yo...but for some reason I aint eem mad at it. Maybe I jus appreciate the fact that Timbo n Swizzy actually kept they damn mouths shut for this long too.

14. Jay-Z "Blue" - Remember when Hov dropped that "Glory" joint after Blue Ivy was born n how it was basically the worst shit he did since like ever...? Yeah well this shit right here makes up for that bullshit. In sons defense he had jus experienced holdin his first born for the first time so he was in a different mindframe at that time...but Im glad he came back witta joint like this. I mean if you gon make joints bout ya toddlers at least make em shits knock like this shit fam. The Biggie vocal snippets is mad bittersweet... Shit jus reminds you how dope Jay n Big sounded on tracks together. This shit one of my favorite tracks on the album jus based off how dope Jigga flowin on it...

15. "La Familia" - The dumbed down for his dollars Jay is back in effect on this track... Aint nothin really special bout this shit. Like it aint trash or nothin but its definitely some filler shit. Even as far as Timbo beats go this shit jus mad average.

16. "Nickels And Dimes" - This shit reminded me of that Frank Ocean "Swim Good" joint. I fucks wit it...shit is the perfect track to close the album out on. Jay usually on some introspective shit for the final track on his albums. This shit aint fuckin wit "You Must Love Me" or "Momma Loves Me" but it still keeps the legacy poppin. I aint mad at it.

Funny thing bout this album is how arrogant the whole project was. Not only did Hov NOT feature on either one of J. Cole or Kanye albums or let em feature on his shit but he aint eem give em a full month to let they albums breathe n shit. Son you coulda picked like 10 other months in the year to drop! Plus Kanye aint produce nothin on the album. This gotta be some discipline shit... Ni**as probably was like FUCK YE after son shitted on the "Suit & Tie" joint JT n Hov put out at the top of the year. Hov really came back n made Kanye tuck his whole summer in for that b. Muthafuckas who find out ey'thing they need to kno bout hip hop from Pitchfork n Huff Post gon stand by that Yeezus joint tho. The ni**as wit white iphones n females who hate rap gon be stickin wit Born Sinner... but THIS that shit the streets been waitin on. Unless Jay Electronica bumped up his release date from Nevruary 32nd 3013 to sometime next month...aint nothin else associated wit the Roc that ni**as is fiendin for more than a new Hov joint. The rest is appetizers. Fam...you gotta be poppin No Doz caps to make it thru a whole J. Cole album... Ion eem mean this as disrespect but Im sayin sheep count J. Coles when they be havin trouble sleepin yo. This is ALL FACTS. But summa yall got lower standards n I respect that nahmean. Only real problem I got wit this album is knowin how dope Jay was in his prime its hard to accept the new incarnation of Hov... I mean yeah yeah we get those glimpses of his past greatness but he aint all the way bangin on all cylinders like he use to be son. Go back n listen to the "Friend Or Foe"...the Dynasty Intro...peep "Hovi Baby"...this man can RAP bruh. But he on some lazy shit these days nahmean. Hov be spittin like...

I GOT BAS-KEE-AHTS...WARHAAWLS...MEORRRAAAWLS...PLURRRAWL...

We get it son...you like art. Chill tho. This shit is like a continuation of that Watch The Throne luxury rap shit. Kanye kept that torch burnin on the Cruel Summer joint last year...but it almost seems like Ye moved on from that. He a fake revolutionary now. Billionaire Hov still stuck on that shit tho. My personal thoughts on this joint is the beats is 80% fire... The raps is jus cool tho...I wish son was inspired to spit some shit like his verses from the "Never Let Me Down" joint off College Dropout or "Dear Summer" if he gon be on that introspective self reflective shit. I wish he could spit like how he did on "What More Can I Say" or "Show You How" if he gon be on that braggadocio shit. But that was damn near 10 years ago b...all that shit. Maybe son jus dont got it like that no more. I can respect that. But at the end of the day its a competitive field yo. Any rappers main MO is to be on top son. You gotta work for that spot tho. Theres mad ni**as out there puttin in that work to take that crown. You need to stay sharp. Hov said it best when he said this album could fight for 4th place since he knows it aint fuckin wit Reasonable Doubt, Blueprint an The Black Album... You can basically make a argument for any of his other solo joints (not you BP3 or Kingdom Come) n explain why that particular album is worthy of that spot...(personally Id probably give it to American Gangster tho) n still not technically be wrong namsayin. But those are the undecided up in the air joints. Shit like Blueprint...you jus cant argue wit that shit. Illmatic...you cant argue wit that shit. Ready To Die, Amerikkkas Most Wanted, College Dropout, Aquemini...these albums ni**as jus kno cant be touched. Magna Carta Holy Grail aint one of em albums tho. This a dope album TO ME...but mad muthafuckas is gon hate this shit b. Same way I aint really fuckin wit Yeezus...but I respected that a lot of yall was blown away by that shit. Feel me? This definitely surprised me tho cuz truthfully I aint think Jay n Timbaland was capable of nothin to special at this point. He aint knock the shit out the park or nothin but I definitely think Jay delivered.

Aight peace.

I give this shit 4 Zeus slaps outta 5