Pursuit of Happiness: How CHOCC Found Purpose in Pain

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For Cori “CHOCC” Broadus, a lupus diagnosis came pre-packaged with a feeling of lifetime personal damnation.

“I used to tell my dad, ‘I feel like I’m the cursed child,’” says CHOCC, an alt-pop artist who happens to be the daughter of the legendary Snoop Dogg. “And he was like, ‘No, you're not. If anything, you have a story and people love you and people want to be around you.’”

These days, that story has galvanized fans into embracing the same self-love techniques and emotional transparency that’s enabled Chocc to surmount medical travails while leveling up her music career. When she’s not promoting her new Journals to Johnny project, she’s responding to DMs from fans also dealing with the condition. Some even say she saved their life.

“I think that's really my ultimate goal: Making the next person want to live, and seeing all the things that I go through and knowing that they can get through it as well,” she says.

Getting through i isn’t easy. Most of the time, it begins with you. That’s how it’s been for CHOCC. Speaking with Okayplayer for The Pursuit of Happiness, CHOCC explains how she perseveres through lupus while maintaining her mental health at all times.

CHOCC: They say pain is beauty. I think that that's true. I always sit here asking, “Why did you do this to me, God? Why is this happening?” But I feel like he gives things to people he knows can handle them. And maybe he’s making me go through all this so I can help the next person, which I'm already doing. There's so many people that send me DMs about how I save their life. and I'm like, “Well, shit, I barely want to live, so how am I making you want to live?” It’s beautiful because I'm so open and I'm not afraid to tell the real and the raw.

I have my days where I'm in bed, sad and dwelling on everything that I've been through. Dealing with it comes down to writing down the pros and the cons. I'm very blessed. I have the best doctors. I'm straight. I’m more than straight. I got to the point where I'm like, “Okay, Cori, this is your life. It could be worse.” I could be bedridden, I could be on kidney dialysis.” I think about all that stuff and how I'm able to get up every single day and do what I need to do, even if it may take longer. But I'm able to get up and do what I need to do.

Life is short and anything can happen. Take care of yourself and be there for yourself. I'm a people pleaser. I constantly want to be there and give to the next person. And if you can't even give to yourself, how are you supposed to be great for the next person? So I think that's what I'm on right now. It’s part of my self-discovery journey — figuring out what Cori likes, what makes Cori happy, and just making sure that I'm never put in that situation again when it comes to having another stroke. It gets hard sometimes because I do inject myself twice a day on blood thinners. I go crazy sometimes because it's twice a day I have to poke myself. It hurts every single time. But if this is what you got to do, girl, that's what you got to do.

My family's amazing. I didn't realize how strong my village was until after my stroke. It got to a point where I was like, “Okay, I just need one day where no one comes to the hospital, no one gives me flowers. I just need time to myself.” And even when I would walk just in the hallway, I would see other patients in the room just by themself. No one came to visit them. I’m blessed.

I try to look at the bigger picture of everything. I have to appreciate that every day I wake up and I'm able to see another day and experience life. It's very hard, but I always tell myself there’s nothing I can't overcome. There’s nothing that God has given me that I can't deal with. Me having lupus since I was six years old, having a stroke, me going through guy problems, me going through friend problems and just life itself. There’s certain situations that I can look back at and laugh at, and I was tripping over that and I was doing this and I was doing that. It’s just knowing that it takes time. When I speak, I realize how I'm nowhere near alone. There’s a lot of people that are going through what I'm going through. They ask me, “Cori, how do you deal with lupus? Are you okay?” I don't necessarily think I'm ever okay. I’m just going with it. Healing is a process. I feel like you never stop healing.